Jesus, Me, and a Skateboard?

There are certain times in my life when I feel more single than others. The two biggest ones are church and grocery shopping. Random, I know. But it is what it is....

In the fall I started going to a new church. I love everything about my new church, and I have made some amazing new friends who have been such blessings in my life. The only thing is that they're all married, so when I go to church, the pew looks a little something like this: couple, couple, couple, me. It's like that scene in Bridget Jones's Diary where she goes to dinner at her friends' house and it's all the couples and her--only no one has ever chased me out of church to tell me they like me just as I am, but I'm holding out hope that it might happen one week. Don't misunderstand me, I love my new friends and most of the time I don't even really think about the fact that they are all married but me. And, let's be honest, I'm 26, so a lot of girls my age are (a lot of them have babies too...which just the thought of being there in my life scares the mess out of me), but sometimes it's hard to sit in church beside a bunch of people who have husbands.

The church thing is sometimes made worse by the fact that on my way home every week I pass a billboard for a local jewelry store that has a giant picture of a fabulous engagement ring. One day, when I have a boyfriend, and he is driving me to and from church, I will give subtle hints about this ring every Sunday.

I'm not really sure why the grocery store makes me feel single. I think it's because groceries are packaged in family-sized packages usually, so I end up buying more than I need and I know as I'm putting it in my cart that I'm probably going to throw some of it away. Or, I buy the single sized things, like the Just for One frozen vegetables, and all I can think of is how my cart is now a glowing advertisement of my relationship status. It's not really important. (Total aside--my computer teacher just made a comment about someone having a wedding coming up and totally just looked at me and my 2 single friends....)

This weekend a church near my mom's house had a big rummage sale. My little brother went so he could spend his allowance on some new toys. One thing he got was a skateboard for a whopping 50 cents. Obviously, since he got it at a garage sale, it wasn't new. This skateboard looks very well-loved. And, in case you don't get it, by well-loved I mean beat up. He could care less. He invited me over, and when I pulled up in the driveway, he held his new skateboard up for me to see. His face was beaming.

I couldn't help but think that my amazing little brother's attitude towards his new skateboard is a lot like God's attitude towards me. My brother loves his skateboard. When he looks at it, he doesn't see something old and beat up that's pretty much past its prime. He sacrificed his time doing his chores to earn his allowance, so he sees his skateboard that he worked hard to get. He sees his skateboard that he paid for. He sees his skateboard that he loves.

Much like my little brother's skateboard, I've been through a lot, and I'm pretty sinful and messed up. But, when God looks at me, He doesn't see the beat up, sinful girl that I am. He sees something beautiful. He sacrificed His Son to get the blood to cover my sins, so He sees a girl that He worked hard to get. He sees a girl that He paid for. He sees a girl that He loves.

I think that sometimes I wish I were married so that when people looked at me they knew that someone had picked me out of all the girls in the world. Having a husband to sit with in church or a ring for the check-out person to see would be a sign to the world that, despite all my faults, someone wanted me. What I forget a lot is that despite all my sins, someone did want me, does want me, and will always want me.

And while that's not always visible to the outside world, like people in church or in the grocery store, that doesn't make it any less real or valuable. Because the real truth is that when God looks at me, His face is beaming.

I like to think that He looks a lot like a six-year-old showing off a skateboard.