Back to School

I went back to school last week, but my new kids came on Thursday! For those of you who aren't teachers, the week before students come is spent in a lot of meetings, which for me means being around adults all day long....even though I love the people I work with, I kind of like being with students more than I like being with adults. I know it sounds super weird, but I think it's because God made me to be a teacher so when I'm not with students there is some part of me that feels like I'm not doing what I was made to do.

I didn't really feel like a purposeless wanderer for the first half of the summer--probably because I was so exhausted from last year--but by mid-July I couldn't wait to go back to school. Thursday as I was driving home from my first day with students, I couldn't help but notice that I felt like myself for the first time in a while. It was like I had been wearing a pair of shoes that was just a little too small and had just taken them off and put on a really comfortable pair instead. Or like I had been holding my breath for a little too long and had finally let it out and taken in a big gulp of fresh air. It was a great feeling. I'm glad to be back to my 12-year-old-filled days.

My Brother-in-Law...

is cool. I like him.

And one time, when we asked my little brother who his favorite sister was (because he does have 4 sisters) he responded not with any of our names but rather with the name of our brother-in-law.

Thanks in Japanese

My step-sister's boyfriend pretty convincingly falls into the category of great guy. They came over to my mom's house tonight, and the poor guy was immediately drafted to play my little brother's odd version of indoor hockey using golf clubs and then skateboard. So, I'm sure he was feeling a little relieved when my brother's bedtime arrived. He really shouldn't have.

He's Japanese, so whenever we hang out I ask him all sorts of Japanese questions. Basically, I quiz him on all kinds of Japanese stereotypes and get him to teach me Japanese words. I turn into this crazy person who just wants to learn all about Japan but who asks only the most obvious and ridiculous questions. Tonight, after making him tell me some Japanese kids' stories, I made him teach me how to make a paper crane. Seriously. He taught me how to make a paper crane. Because I apparently live in some stereotypical universe. His was awesome....mine has a slightly deformed body. And apparently, there is a real version and an "Americanized" version. Don't worry, ours were the legitimate Japanese ones.

Anyway, I feel like since he graciously puts up with my "How do you say _______ in Japanese" inquiries and taught me the ancient art of paper folding, he deserved a public thank you. So thanks.

How do you say that in Japanese?

Books and Why I Like Them

I get asked all the time why I like books so much. Usually by my students. I give them the typical answer about how books let you see the world from a different point of view, visit places you've never been, feel things you haven't felt, get to know characters (and, with really good books, get to know something new about yourself), examine some aspect of human nature. All those things are true. All those are reasons why I like books. But they're not really why I love them. I love them because words, when they're put together the right way, take my breath away. They make me see how beautiful the world can be. It sounds ridiculous, but it's true.

For my mom, two of the things that do that for her are wild flowers and sunsets. When I was a kid, I remember many times when my mom would make my dad pull the car over so she could get out and take a picture of a flower she saw growing on the side of the road. It became a huge joke for me and my sisters. But now, when I read a really great sentence or paragraph, I think I know exactly how my mom felt. I think God uses books to bless me. He knows that when He created me, He gave me a crazy love for the written word. And when He created some other people, He gave them this amazing ability to craft the written word. And He somehow manages to make sure the things they write using their gifts make it into my hands because He knows it's just going to make me really happy. Every time I read a really good book--the kind of book with sentences that I want to curl up with, to live inside (and this is actually how I describe them--ask people who know me, and chances are they have heard me say at least once that "I want to live in this sentence")--it's like a small gift from God, given for no other reason than that He loves me and likes to see me smile...and He knows that a well-crafted sentence is a sure fire way to make that happen.

They come in different types--some are like pieces of candy, quick and delicious, and they put a little jump in your step. Some are like really fabulous gourmet food that you want to eat slowly and savor down to the very last bite. But, every once in a while, I stumble across a truly great batch of sentences. I find the kind of book that wraps itself around me like a really fabulous blanket and manages to warm me down to the depths of my book-loving soul. Usually it's when a writer somehow manages to put into words something I never could. For me, it's how it feels to have lost my dad when I was 12.

People ask me all the time what that was like, what it's still like. I try and give them an answer, but I've never really been satisfied with what I tell them. I think the closest I've ever come was saying it made me feel like a sailor (one from a really long time ago, from before the days of navigational instruments) would feel if he were out at night and the North Star suddenly disappeared from the sky--really scared, really alone, and like nothing made sense or was ever going to be right again. (If I'm being honest, I was pretty proud of that particular comparison....) It also made me feel like I was someone who was always going to be really misunderstood because no one knew what it felt like. So, whenever I find a book that manages to articulate for real what it feels like to lose someone, it makes me feel oddly unalone, like maybe what I feel sometimes doesn't make me strange, like maybe what I feel is normal. And that's comforting.

Because I've actually had people ask me if I ever found books that I thought painted an authentic picture of losing a parent, here's the very short list that I give as an answer: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer; Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life by Wendy Mass; and the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. (I know...how could a bunch of books about magic be authentic, but trust me, if you're a kid who has lost a parent, I really believe the way Rowling describes how Harry feels about his parents will feel right on point to you...how it stays with you in this oddly defining kind of way and always leaves you feeling like you're missing something.)

It had been a few years since I had found one of these books, but I just finished what I think just might be the best one yet. As previously blogged, I started reading The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud. It's a fantastic gem of a book that I highly recommend--especially if you want to see the movie. Read it first. Anyway, if you've heard of the book or seen the preview for the movie, you know that Charlie's younger brother dies (it happens at the beginning, so I'm not ruining anything). There's a scene in the book when he's talking to Tess (the sailor girl), and she asks him what he misses the most about his brother. Here's his answer:

Most of all...I miss that feeling when you go to sleep at night and when you wake up in the morning. It's the feeling that everything is all right in the world. You know, that amazing feeling that you're whole, that you've got everything you want, that you aren't missing anything. Sometimes when I wake up, I get it just for a moment. It lasts a few seconds, but then I remember what happened, and how nothing has been the same since....Some days are better than others....It feels like it's gone, and I'm just like everyone else. Then, without warning, it comes back and lodges in my mind. That's when I don't feel right being around anyone....I guess I never really know when it'll hit me....

These are words I want to live in...because for the first time, it felt like someone perfectly said exactly how I feel. That's why I love books. Because when they're done right, you get those moments--the ones where you feel like someone made sense of your world, the ones where you don't feel so alone.

(And, in case anyone was wondering, going to see Charlie St. Cloud has brought me out of my mini-existential crisis brought on earlier in the summer when I saw Eclipse--the one where for the first time I actually liked a movie better than a book. I can say, without a doubt, that in the case of Charlie St. Cloud, the book is infinitely better. The movie's good, but it's not even close to the book. I have decided that it's because I love Ben Sherwood's writing; I want to curl up and live in his book. In The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud, I love the writing and the story. But, I've never been the biggest fan of Stephanie Meyer's style (she uses too many dashes and Edward's eyes always smolder). With the Twilight books I mainly just get into the story, so when they become movies, my favorite part is still there. That's not the case with most book movies--I lose the writing, which is usually my favorite thing. I feel much better having solved this problem.)

(And before anyone points out that I use dashes a lot, let me just clarify that Stephanie Meyer uses them in places where I feel commas would be more than sufficient, and that makes me feel like the flow of the writing gets needlessly interrupted. When I use a dash, I feel like there needs to be a rather significant pause.)

Feeling Lucky/Why I Like Google

I am a pretty quirky person. I love my quirky habits and really appreciate the quirky habits of others. My little sister, for example, has this habit of IMDBing every person even remotely involved in whatever television show or movie she is watching. By the end of the movie or episode, she will be able to tell you everyone's life story, birthday, and talk about everything else they have ever been in. It's not just the actors--she does writers, directors, everyone. Plus, she can talk to you about what just happened on the screen. It really is an amazing display of multitasking. And if you don't believe me (and you know her and her phone number), call her right now and ask her to tell you anything about anyone ever associated with One Tree Hill. You will be amazed.

I called her tonight (because I was upset about reading the Charlie St. Cloud book), and she told me she had made a rather amazing discovery. She had Googled some actor and hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, and it took her right to the actor's IMDB page. This was very exciting because it basically removes a step from her IMDBing process. Given the amount of IMDBing she does, this is a potentially huge discovery.

She did some tests and discovered that it doesn't work for everyone, but it does work for most people. Because I'm a good sister, I decided to help her with her research. So, over the phone, we started naming and I'm-Feeling-Lucky Googling celebrities. Generally, it's going to take you to either their IMDB (Brad Pitt and Wentworth Miller) or to their Wikipedia (Tina Fey and Drew Brees), which is also a useful tool but not the first choice of my sister.

We're in the middle of our research, and she suggests we try it with Henry Cavill. If you don't know who that is, do this:

1) Open a new tab in your internet browser

2) Do a Google image search for Henry Cavill

3) Look at the results

4) Read this: You are welcome.

Other than the newly found straight to IMDB thing, my favorite thing about Google is how it tries to autocomplete your search for you. When you start typing something in, you get a whole list of things other people have Googled. As I was typing in Henry Cavill for the great I'm-Feeling-Lucky experiment, the first search that came up after his name was "Henry Cavill Girlfriend." For whatever reason, I clicked on it. Then I scrolled down to the bottom of the page where one of my other favorite things about Google happens to live--the list of "searches related to" whatever you just searched. (Ok, first, I read some of the links...apparently he doesn't have a girlfriend right now....) This list contained maybe my favorite thing of the day (other than discovering the BBC America show The Choir, which I'm sure will be fully-blogged at another time). Here's the list--see if you can find the thing that doesn't belong:

Henry Cavill Married

Robert Pattinson Girlfriend

Steven Strait Girlfriend

Jonathan Rhys Meyers Girlfriend

Edward Cullen Girlfriend

Jared Padelecki Girlfriend

Who in the world is Googling "Edward Cullen Girlfriend"? First of all, he's a fictional character. And even in fiction, he's not a real boy. Second of all, everyone knows his girlfriend is Bella Swan.

In case you were wondering, if you I'm-Feeling-Lucky Google "Edward Cullen Girlfriend," you get taken to a site with a quiz entitled "Could You Be Edward Cullen's Girlfriend?" In case you were wondering, I could. Maybe that's my problem...I've been looking for real guys.

Crying St. Crier

So I vowed not to go see the movie Charlie St. Cloud because the preview alone makes me really upset. Probably because I am obsessed with my younger siblings, and I can't even imagine how I would feel if something bad happened to them (note, I would be upset if something happened to my big sister too, but in the movie it's his little brother so I felt like that was a more appropriate comparison). Even though I think Zac Efron is just adorable, it's still not enough to make me think I could ever make it through the movie without turning into a puddle.

Anyway, a friend of mine told me today that it's a book, which I didn't know. (Perhaps somewhere deep in my soul I did, and this is why I knew I couldn't see the movie due to my rule about not seeing movies whose books I haven't read.) She told me it was good. I told her there was no way I could read it because the preview for the movie makes me really upset. She told me that once I started reading the book and figured out what was going on, she didn't think it would really upset me that much.

Well, according to my Kindle, I'm 10% done. I've cried twice. Twice. Two times.

Other than the crying, I am rather enjoying it though.

A Post About Not Posting

It has been brought to my attention that a few people are very sad because I have not posted anything on my blog lately. I'm sorry to have caused you distress. Now I feel the need to explain. All I've done this summer is take online classes to finish getting my teacher certification. Basically all I do is wake up, read materials for my classes, and do work for my classes. And I didn't think anyone would care to read about content methods, reading strategies, and classroom management theories. It's really not that interesting.

The only other thing I've really done is binge on Netflix because when I finish my schoolwork, I'm too tired to really do anything that requires actual work and watching tv shows online falls into the category of things that do not require actual work. This is not that interesting either, but to satisfy a certain someone who misses my blogs, here are some random observations from my summer...including another embarrassing Prison Break confession. (And by "random observations" I mean stupid things I have done and should be so embarrassed about that I never tell anyone...but a few years ago I went to counseling and now have no problem admitting embarrassing things about myself. Probably bad for me. But fun for you dear readers.)

1) I watched all four seasons of Prison Break, and I cried at the end. And not I cried like I shed a few tears. I was sobbing on my couch for probably 15 to 20 minutes. The loud kind of sobs that make your body shake and are kind of annoying. Thankfully my roommate wasn't home. (She has an uncanny ability to be out of the house whenever I have pop culture related breakdowns--like when I read The Time Traveler's Wife and cried for about two hours or when I cried this season during The Bachelorette when Chris L. talked about his mom's funeral.) I also diagnosed my little sister with the same psychological condition as the show's main character, but don't you worry, I looked it up on Wikipedia to make sure it was real before I told her I think she has it.

2) I also watched Weeds. This show falls into the category with Dexter--the one where someone is doing something bad (in this case dealing drugs and being a really bad mom, not killing people) but as a viewer you like them anyway. It must be a Showtime thing because I feel like the same principle applied to certain characters on The Tudors, which is the only other Showtime show I've watched.

3) I, like many other American ladies, always swear I'm not watching The Bachelor/Bachelorette but end up watching it anyway, so I've seen pretty much every season (except for the one on when I lived in Russia). I have to say that Ali is my favorite Bachelorette of all time, and I think that she and Roberto are quite cute. Also, I think they would have pretty babies, so I hope they get married.

4) I saw Eclipse four times. There was one time when I saw it twice in one day (there is a justification for this, but it's too long to post right now). So next time you hear me saying, "Why am I still single?" you are free to reply with "You saw the third Twilight movie four times--twice in one day." I will not fight with you. I will take this as a perfectly acceptable answer.

5) Kids change the entire dynamic of family vacation. I have a little brother who is six-and-a-half. My family went to the beach for a week. We played putt-putt three times. My mom and older sister actually went four times. It was like this--go to dinner and my brother naturally assumed putt-putt came after. My family was like two high schoolers on a date. Also, I'm not very good at putt-putt. My mom on the other hand came out of nowhere and wowed my sisters and me with her mad putt-putt skills.

6) While I was at the beach, I went to an antique store where I bought a bracelet made out of a fork. I know it sounds like the weirdest thing ever, but I saw it and just had to have it. I mean, how many people do you know who have a bracelet made out of a fork? Now you know one. You're welcome for that.

I hope that's enough to satisfy anyone's cravings for insight into my mundane life. Take heart, school is about to start, so my life is about to get crazy again! Enjoy the last few days of summer.