If Life Were a TV Show....

One great thing about summer and Netflix is the ability to watch large amounts of tv shows in their entirety. For example, I've watched the first five seasons of Rescue Me and the first two seasons of Prison Break. I should probably be embarrassed by this, but I'm not. Although I do feel the need to add that I just finished two graduate classes and am starting a new one tomorrow--so I have actually done something productive. But, back to the point, all the tv watching has lead to me compiling a list of reasons why it would be kind of cool to live life in a tv show.

1) If you're ever in a situation where you need to hit someone with something, a heavy tool or pipe is always readily available.

2) After the previously mentioned fight, where you probably destroy someone else's property and possible even blow something up, you never end up having to pay damages.

3) If the need arises and a gun is available, you know exactly how to use it. No matter what kind of gun it is and no matter what you did with your life before that moment, even if it had nothing at all to do with guns. Even if you can't spell gun.

4) When you need a car and yours isn't around, there is going to be one with the keys left in it or you are going to know how to hotwire it.

5) You get to do cool stuff on trains. (I mean, think about it. How many people do you know who use trains as a regular means of transport for long distances? But, on tv, trains, train tracks, train stations--all these things seem to play a big role.)

6) Even if you do bad things, people like you. Like if you've ever watched Dexter. I mean, he's a serial killer, but you like him and don't want him to get caught.

7) You have cell phone service pretty much everywhere, including basements and parking garages. And, if you don't have a cell phone, probably because you had to throw it away because you were being tracked by it, there's a pay phone around. Or if you need to call someone to deliver some sort of secret message, you can tell them to go to a pay phone, which will obviously be working. Even though I'm not sure the last time I even saw a pay phone.

8) No matter how supposedly poor you are--or if you are on the run because you just broke out of prison--you will have Ray Ban sunglasses. I mean, Tim Riggins has $200 sunglasses. This principle basically applies to any tv wardrobe. Even if you are supposed to be poor, you will still wear expensive designer clothes.

9) This one isn't me, it's my little sister. You will always have and drink bottled water.

If only I could have wardrobe people and prop people to set up my life.