The Ideal Husband

On Friday, I was talking with another teacher at my school. She asked me if I had a boyfriend. I answered no, and then went on to tell her that, while I didn't have a boyfriend, I am still working on my list. All girls know what I'm talking about. That running list you keep of things you want the guy you marry to have. As I've gotten older, I've found that my list has started to change. Sure, it still has some remnants of my younger list--I would still like it if the guy I marry was taller than me, preferably tall enough for me to wear the occasional heels. And the number one thing on my list, he has to love Jesus, is still the same. But, over the years, my list has become less appearance-based and more quality-based.

I want someone who, like my roommate from college, always thinks going to the movies is a fantastic way to pass the time, always thinks it is worth the nine dollars the ticket costs, always thinks you should get there at least ten minutes early so you can get settled and be completely prepared to watch when the previews start. Someone who thinks that it's ok to see a movie on a Friday night and go see it again Saturday afternoon if you really, really liked it. Then, to go to Target the day the movie comes out on DVD and totally cut some woman off in line just so you can get back to your room two minutes earlier to watch it again (this, by the way, is exactly what we did for Love Actually.) Or at least someone who accepts that I'm this way, finds it adorable and endearing, and is willing to put up with it.

I want someone who, like my friend who teaches Language Arts with me, totally gets me--especially the weird stuff that no one got before I met her. Someone who gets excited over a book, thinks that you can never reread a book you love too many times, who can finish quotes from books when I start them. Someone who understands just what I mean when I don't know what I mean and words just start coming out of my mouth in a fit of word vomit because they have thought the same thing before. Someone who doesn't get wierded out when I tell them some story I learned in mythology about how people used to be blobs that got broken in two and now people are walking around looking for the other half of their original blob and how I feel like they are the other half of mine.

I want someone who, like my other friend who teaches with me, I can be brutally honest with. Someone who I can go into a room with, close the door, and say, "You know how sometimes you just feel like everything is wrong and you have no idea how to start making anything right again?" with and not have to worry about them bailing because I don't have everything under control. Someone I can share being not perfect with without the fear of being judged for it. Someone who will read through all the spell cards in Harry Potter Clue with me until I feel like I can go back to my life.

I want someone who, like my little sister, can quote movies and tv shows and recognizes when I do it. Someone who will play Jeopardy with me. Someone who will watch sports with me, sometimes over the phone, and will text me scores when I'm not home to watch myself. Someone who knows what I'm thinking and knows how I'm feeling without me having to say anything at all. Someone who will tell me when I'm being an idiot but stop bringing it up and just keep loving me even when I don't change right away. Someone who shares music with me and is fun to go to concerts with. Someone who will let me cuddle up next to them when I'm upset, even if they aren't a physical touch person, because they know it will make me feel better.

I want someone who, like my older sister, will take care of me. Someone who will take charge of things because I hate to do that and am really bad at it. Someone who doesn't stop loving me because we get into a fight. Someone who is able to forgive me--even when I'm not the nicest person around.

I want someone who, like my little brother, I can act like a kid with.

I want someone who, like my step-sister, is always willing to totally geek out and play board games with me. Someone who will write down the same answer as me on the mind-reading challenges while playing New Moon the Movie Board Game.

I want someone who, like my best friend, is always there for me and who gives me another family. Someone whose family I become part of so much so that I can go to family events and not feel like an outsider at all. Someone who I can have a real relationship with, one that lasts through things like moving, living in different countries, and losing parents.

I want someone who, like my best guy friend, will come over to put my new license plate on my car just because I don't want to do it myself. Someone who makes me feel like I don't need to worry when they're around because they will take care of anything that might come up. Someone whose presence can calm me down when I'm really worried or upset, even if it is three a.m. and I'm in the ER with a friend. Someone who will come see me in the ER if it is three a.m. without me having to ask them to.

I want someone who, like my roommate, won't tell me to stop talking to the television, especially during reality shows when I feel the need to keep a running commentary. Someone who will agree with me that ABC should hire me to work on The Bachelor and run out and stop people from saying stupid, embarrassing things that are going to be put on national television because I would be really good at it. Someone who won't make fun of me for voting repeatedly for my favorite dancer on So You Think You Can Dance. Someone who is just really fun and someone who I can laugh with. And someone who I can cry with too.

I want someone who, like my mom, will read young adult books so that they can come to the book club at my school with my students because they know how much I love my job and want my family to see what I do. Someone who loves God and loves other people. Someone who I will see the love of Christ in each and every day. Someone who cares about their family more than anything else in this world.

I want someone who, like my dad did before he died, makes me feel like the most special person alive. Someone whose eyes say to me each time I look in them that I am a treasure, that I am loved, and that I deserve to be treated as such.

The more I thought about my list, the more I saw that all the things I wanted in a guy were things I already had in my life, and this left me feeling quite blessed. It also left me re-evaluating my list. Obviously, God has faithfully met all my life's relationship needs so far, so I guess my list should only have one item on it.

I want the one person that God wants for me. While I think I know what I want, He knows exactly what I need. And, if that means I'll spend the rest of my life in flat shoes, I'll be more than happy to do it.